This jumped out at me:

> . If I couldn’t have her as a girlfriend, then I didn’t want her. What kind of person does that?

The kind of person who does that, is the kind of person who knows their limits. It’s a person who knows that trying to be “friends” with someone they have feelings for is not authentic and true to themselves. As you’ve seen, when we deny the truth of ourselves, things get very complicated very quickly. I’m so sorry you’re hurting, and that you miss your friend