Dear Brav3:

Thank you for your comment to me. I am back to your delightful thread first thing this morning. I like all your points and these are the ones I find particularly delightful to my mind and heart:

In # 6, 8, 11 and 16 you are challenging common post breakup thoughts, pointing the person in a different direction, challenging the person to re-think and to see the bigger picture, and you do so in a simple, straightforward way:
6. “Will never find someone that good”-
How do you know? Was that person really that good?”
8. “Why me? Why this happened to me?”-
Is it really just you? Do you know how many people go through this everyday.”
11. “She or he was so amazing?”-
was he/she really? Or its the delusion in your mind?”
16. “I am single and I am unhappy”-
Have you met people who are married with kids? Do they look that they are happy? You only change from one form of suffering to another. Its delusion by mind.”

In # 7 you place so much wisdom perfectly, I believe: “We as human being are designed to give and receive love. Its in our nature. Don’t run from it, you will create more pain and suffering.”

There is so much in your original post and I can go on and on about it, as you can go on and on, as you wrote.

I noticed the Thought Distortions you bring up- the categories of Thought Distortions I learned in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):

* “Fortune Telling” is one, where people predict the future, but … have no business doing so, for example: I will never find someone this good (#6) as well as #7 and 13.
* “Catastrophizing” is another: people believe things are way worse than they are: #9, #12
* “Personalizing” is yet another, where people believe something is about them when it is not, or only partly so: #5 and 10.
* “Emotional Reasoning”- when people believe something is true because it feels so: #9, #11.
* “Jumping to conclusions”- when people jump to a conclusion, assume something without checking validity: #5 & #16.

A few items are a combination of these categories.

You asked to ask you to elaborate on any of your points: what about #15: Why this keep happening to me? Because you aren’t learning from it. Its your teacher learn from this.”?

anita