Hi Aiyana!

Surprisingly, I actually don’t have a disability LOL. It’s technically a disorder and not an illness. A disease is something you can’t overcome (permanent illness that is un-treatable like bipolar). Whereas a disorder is a developmental condition that with the right conditioning can be brought back to normality, but what is normality? Although it is very serious, it is far too complex and is not yet integrated into DSM IV, however, you may want to check out “schema therapy” <= search for this and you might better understand yourself including “schema modes” and modulation.

I tend to re=process my thoughts, I think backwards and thus acknowledge a lot of information but at the same time suffer greatly.

I was diagnosed only 2 years ago with mixed personality disorder, anxiety disorder but have come to discover multiple (distinct) personalities, different perspectives, emotions, though process’, memories and beliefs can exist at any one time, it’s like having my own personal board of directors.

I have had other problems like PTSD, childhood trauma and adult trauma too (I watch children dying from AIDS), but not to wallow in self pity, I am an empath, technically a genius but I have other problems that affect my life in a substantial way.

You are obviously a very intelligent and special person, too me and your spiritual beginnings you are a very valuable person. I think it’s great that you have discovered spirituality as a path of discovery for who you are. After all, is mental illness not created by man? through deceit? lies? abuse? primitive behavior?, the curses of your forefathers, intellectualism?, the stress’ of daily life and the pressures put upon us, while your therapist works upon theories of pragmatism, you have walked the walk and I respect that.

You live inside an evolution matrix of philosophy, a spiritual guide of prophetic dreams to bring you back to the one who created you. Never forget to bless those who curse you, face your convictions, have honour, respect and integrity. You are clearly a godly women and God is standing by your side.

For you…

“Some say that it’s not the destination that you stand but the direction in which you look and that is the true measure of success, but it is the destination that you stand because you stand with God, with honour in your heart, integrity to do the right things and the courage to face your convictions and if you make mistakes you make them because God wants you to make them and he forgiveness you where you stand in your destination with him and that is the path that you will walk, towards him on a path of his choosing.”

God bless you!