Dear alabamamama:

Your last two lines lead me to think you are not sure about leaving for the six months?

(It reads to me like a very good idea to leave for the six months and if the career move works out, to continue from there. I support you in this decision, based on what you shared).

This is my point: if you present to him your decision to leave for six months as less than something you are absolutely sure that you are going to do, no matter his input, then seems to me that he will try to talk you out of leaving just as he did before. The only way for you to pass through this first hurdle (if you are sure) is to present your decision as final and non negotiable. If and as he argues, repeat yourself with as much confidence as before.

If you are persistent and not open to negotiations, pleading, manipulations, threats, whatever he may present to you, then there are a few possibilities:

* He is not done fighting, only done talking for now. He may leave you alone, get high on the drug he likes and be absent that way. The idea is to cause you anxiety so that you will back down. Give him as much time as you want but stick to your guns, don’t back off.

* He continues to argue, fight and leave, come back, beg, argue, leave, etc. – time for you to pack and leave as soon as possible, leave to another place and from there leave to the other country to pursue your plan.

* He stops arguing and is calm, tell him you want to come back after six months for the month and a half and from there you want to live with him forever more either where you are both living now or in the other country. Then ask him what he prefers at this point and if he is willing to re-evaluate during the six months.

anita