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Reply To: Father – What to do

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#113702
Steve
Participant

Dear Trixie,

I have another perspective. As you present your step-mother she may be crazy. It is an act of kindness not to make her more afraid or to make others suffer more. This calls for deep compassion and wisdom on your part.

You can do what you want to make things the best they can be.

Consider the four Noble Truths:
suffering, no body gets everything they want
clinging to suffering, is the cause of suffering, impermanent things and situations will never be all we want them to be
cessation of suffering, there is a way out of this (to step by step improve this into set and settings helpful to everyone)
the path to cessation is 8-fold, your responsibility, no one else’s

There is only one birth father in your life, one birth sister, one birth mother, one step mother, step-siblings. You can create imaginary substitutes, but this Dukkha will not change.

Ultimately you must refine yourself so beautifully and thoroughly in your thoughts and actions you little by little turn this into
an experience of deepening compassion and wisdom.

Polish the Diamond.

You must show up.

5 minutes here, 10 minutes there, cameo appearances of your very best 8-fold offerings, may ultimately grow into hours of, meaningful sharing, especially in the unseen and within your inner being. Take your opportunities and slowly co-create Grace.

It will be very painful at first, but not more so than banishment,
or festering feelings which will increase problems for you, and ultimately your children too, and your husband, sister…

The path takes strength…Nurture yourself…Breath in and relax…Know your limits, expand. Nurture and Integrate…Keeping Showing Up

Respectfully, Steve