Know that the drinking and medication are a symptom of the problem, and not the problem itself. Everyone who does drugs, in any form, does them for a reason. Some for more serious issues than others. When you address the source of the problem, all those symptoms will simply fade away.

At the heart of your depression is this need to fill the void with a companion; when you are in a relationship you are completely focused on that one person, so much so, that you find yourself neglecting all your other friends, and they suffer, deteriorate and fade away because of it. You are depressed, unfulfilled and cling to that abusive relationship because of this reliance on a partner to keep you happy, entertained, and give your life meaning. When what you should do is find a balance between putting time in for yourself, and, once you have that solid foundation, searching for that relationship to complete the picture. That means spending time with friends, focusing on having fun, finding happiness outside companionship, doing activities you love with those friends you are close too. It means enjoying life. Find work you actually enjoy, work which gives your life purpose. Really consider the life you want to lead, the kind of people you want to surround yourself with. And when a relationship does come, don’t forget to set time aside for yourself and your friends. Don’t put that pressure on your partner to be the center of your world.

The best way to find new friends, those who you can connect with, is to do the things you love, spark up conversations at those places with those people. You will find it easier to talk, because you have something in common right away. If you still find yourself being antisocial, you can bring a friend who isn’t. Another opportunity is the workplace, that can be a good setting as well, you see those people every day. If you can’t seem to connect with those people, you might consider searching for a job which has people you have more in common with.

I hope this helps you get back on course. Much love!