Dear jlo5:

Your emotions are telling you that he is hurting and he needs help and … like he is a young boy in need of help. And it is true in the sense that much of him is that young boy that he was. Problem is, that young boy is stuck in a stubborn man who turned against you and in so doing, against his own children.

Pay attention to your children: are they affected by the dynamics between you and their father? Are they suffering? If your children need you to rescue them, do so.

Did you, by the way, talk to him about the origin of his trouble, his childhood, most likely? Did he share with you about it? With therapy not being likely for the two of you, it is possible for two people to help each other, for as long as each turns toward the other and not against the other. Is there a chance for such communication between the two of you?

anita