Dear mahia:

It is common for individuals to manipulate others by guilt, so if this is so in your case, it will not at all be unusual. It may very well be that he learned, through experience, that it works- for him. And even though it hurts you, it pleases him. And so it is a Lose-Win proposition for you: you lose and he wins, every time.

What you need, what we all need, are Win-Win relationships. Regardless of his motives, all that matters is: are you winning being in contact with him?

If you are not winning, if it is a Losing proposition for you, then either make it a win for you or exit the relationship. Do not sacrifice your well being so to please another person: your responsibility is your own well being, first and foremost.

anita