Thanks for support I apperciate it a lot, well in my childhood I never felt like others, I remember being attracted to feets(legs) and hiding it, which made me uncomfortable with my self, I went through a lot of small things in my life which made me not feel like others (like being BI), sometimes for good and sometimes for bad;(loving myself a lot or hating myself a lot).
Also I was the youngest between 12 cousins, so I wasn’t really inside their community.

But the main idea is that I never felt like others.
I quite blame my parents for that, also didn’t forget them inside, because they didn’t change yet.
My sbilings don’t live home now, so I stay home with my parents, I’m sick about it, I feel my parents are anxious and depressed which make me feel depressed about this loop, but I can’t leave them because I’ll feel sorry for them.

If you have any suggestions to be happy again, I’ll do anything! Do you think there’s a solution?