Dear Liquidsnake:

I see the negative effect on you left by your strict father. He punished you for making mistakes. That is too bad because no one can live one day without making mistakes. And of course, your father made a big mistake every time he punished you!

You wrote to me in your last post: ” I deeply apologize for the misinterpretation…It was bad on my part to understood what you said in this way…”

See, this is the effect of your father on you: you wrote above that it was bad on your part to have misunderstood me that you deeply apologized.

First it was not at all bad on your part to misunderstand me. It is okay for you to misunderstand me. If there is a misunderstanding, I will correct it and you will correct it. I misunderstand people myself, so I ask questions to understand better. It is not Bad of me to misunderstand. So there is no need to apologize at all.

You wrote that your father taught you: “no mistakes are allowed, whatsoever and if you do, you will be punished in some way.” I wonder who is punishing your father for making this very big mistake of teaching you this?

And since your father made such a big mistake teaching you that you are a bad person for making mistakes, I wonder what else he taught you that was wrong…

The process of healing involves figuring out your core beliefs, that is, the things you believed so far about people: what is true and what is not true. For example it is true that mistakes are natural to make. It is true that gentleness and kindness are needed so to learn, not punishment. And so on.

anita