@marie1030,

Her request for me to keep it secret troubled me greatly at the earlier stage when things unfolded. I told her about wanting to speak to a few close friends (happen to be our mutual friends, but she is not that close with them) about my pain and heartbreak, and that I won’t disclose her name. But she responded saying she doesn’t trust them to be non-judging and able to hold secrets like these, so she asked me whether I could speak to her directly, or find counselor. I respected her wish so I went to a counselor, but it was financially quite expensive for me, I am just a student and don’t want to ask my parents for money for something they don’t know about. This forum has helped me see things from third party and more objective perspectives. The thing with us is that neither of us acknowledged this as a lesbian, romantic relationship (we never called each other girlfriends) although I would say what we do and what I felt was pretty much a very loving relationship. This is why I hadn’t thought about this relationship in relation to the LGBT community. We always just said we love each other very very deeply, not romantically although we sometimes crave physical closeness.

But again, thanks for supporting me to trust my own feelings. You are right in that I knew something was not ok, which led me to want to share and seek help.

Charlotte