Dear epodc7:

You are welcome. You asked for my advice on how to move on from here. This is my detailed advice:

1) No more abusing her or anyone else, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Be assertive but not abusive; promote your self interest with a Win-Win attitude. This is first priority.

2) Your test: focus on it to the exclusion of everything else. Have no contact with her until after the exam(postponing her visit this weekend is acceptable, I think, if you explain to her you need no contact until after your exam).

3) After the exam, prepare a very detailed and thorough record of your past abuse of her, sincerely apologize for all, taking full responsibility for all the abuse you inflicted on her. Offer restitution for the time you will be able to do so, once you earn money: to pay for her therapy with a competent therapist (about six months- or more, weekly, I am thinking). In summary: zero future abuse of her, a written record with a sincere apology and restitution in the form of paying her therapist.

* regarding a possible relationship with her: following her one to one therapy, paid by you, you can join her sessions in the context of a couple therapy so to determine a possible future.

Post again, anytime and wish you well on your exam!

anita