thanks anita,
i too have a friend whose wife used to actually beat him. he is today with someone else and they get along very very well. my wife and i are going to have a talk today when she gets back from work. i am dreading the moment already, and i am taking sips of alcohol. i will probably drink when the time comes to talk to her because i really have no courage to speak my mind. it is something that is very hard for me. especially when i know i will hurt the other person. i want to separate, but then i keep thinking who will take care of her, how will she live. i worry a lot about her well-being. i don’t know if that means i love her. she complains that i only love her like a father, that i take care of her. but not as a husband. but i also do not see her as a wife. i see her as a bully. i told her once that i am afraid of her. i am a very weak person, i get depressed at any sign of criticism. i have been this way all my life. as far back as i can remember, i have been socially anxious. i remember peeing in my pants in class because i was too afraid to ask the teacher if i could go to the restroom. i have really suffered from this condition. things seemed to ease up later. i got married. everything seemed to be fine. but now it all seems to come back. when i have to defend myself and speak up, i can’t. i become mute. it kills me. she becomes angrier. i become more silent still. i kills me that i am like this. i end up hating myself.