i proposed to her to see a couples therapist. i also said i don’t want to be holding her back. that if she wants to be with someone else, fine. i love her but, if she wants to be free, fine. actually, she has a greater sex drive than myself. i am a man, and i want a connection before i have sex. that connection is lacking. she does not understand how i can go without for so long. i guess not all men are the same. they say men give love to have sex, and women give sex to have love. she once told me i fall in love with anyone who treats me well. she nailed it then. i guess she forgot. i want to start being honest, if we are to have a relationship at all. i want to stop lying to myself and to her. i am 40 now going on 41. i don’t want to spend the other half of my life like this. i love her, but love is not enough in a marriage. i know that now. i remember before i was married a coworker was talking with his wife on the phone, he was an elderly, he was like, ‘ok,, ok, ok’. when he ended, he banged the phone and told me, ‘never get married’. i laughed then but i keep remembering him now. he was such a nice guy. like me.