Dear Nina,

Thank you for your post, I think you really got it right.

I know “Up” and I knew what this video was, I tried to watch it again just now but couldn’t go through with it because it is just so sad and touching. Thank you for linking this even though I’m crying right now:) I think it gets to me even more now because we are trying for a baby and have had some misfortunes with that so far.

I agree with the points you listed, you are so right. This thing I am dealing with is so tricky and consuming that it sometimes takes over me and I feel trapped in the relationship rather than seeing things as they truly are – which is how you described it.
My husband really is a great guy and when I let him and myself be, instead of judging and looking for the bad things, it can really feel great to be with him.
The problem is that this thing is always lurking, and when it takes over it just makes all the good things disappear. And it demands so much attention and I can only hear this voice telling me how everything is wrong.