Dear Sarah:

Your distress is tangible to me: I can feel it and I am sorry that you are struggling as yo do. I read your latest posts. I will write to you what I think in a very straight forward way:

I think you were and are very, very hurt by your parents, and angry but you feel guilty for the anger so you pushed the anger down and refuse to be aware of it. But the anger will not disappear, no matter how hard you try to make it disappear. It is that anger that is fueling your ROCD. It will not allow you to have a healthy relationship until you become aware of it.

Psychotherapy with a competent therapist as soon as possible, Sarah, before you terminate this relationship, is the answer. If you terminate the relationship, you will feel relief but it will be temporary. Therapy will be difficult but I believe it is necessary.

Post anytime.

anita