Dear Anita,

Thank you for sharing these thoughts with me, you are being very direct and I appreciate that.

You could be right about the therapy, but then again maybe my issues are more complex than that, I really don’t know. It is hard to tell what is the cause of these issues as it is probably a mixture of things, not just my experiences with my brother. Some of that is related to misconceptions I have about love and relationships, some to my judgmental nature, some to my mother and my father and the kind of people they are… I don’t know if it’s just one thing, although I do agree with you that these experiences might have been more traumatic than I assumed and I thank you for pointing me in that direction.
I think we could assume that the feeling of fear and lack of safety (although I am not sure it is exactly the same feeling as I have now) might have been “born” during these early years, but then so much other stuff contributed to these issues becoming what they are now, stuff like thoughts and ideas and misconceptions and life experiences, that to resolve these issues it probably wouldn’t be enough to find the cause or the initial source.
What do you think?

I really don’t know how competent my therapist is, all I know is that I feel I can trust him and that it does help me to see him, although it might not be going as quickly as I would wish. I will speak to him about this and see what he says.
I don’t think I would like to change therapists right now, but I am quite likely to move to another city in the next year and a half anyway so if things don’t get better by then I will probably find another therapist after I move.

Thank you for your presence and support, it really helps.