Ladybug75,

I’m sorry your friend is moving away, especially given the fact it’s on the heels of losing your mom.

You don’t know what the future will bring. The distance may make him miss you/value you more and strengthen your bond, or it may be the first step in you two eventually drifting apart. Someone told me once that friends are in your life for “a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Who knows, maybe this man needs to leave your life to make room for a romantic partner, who will be both a friend and a lover.

When I’ve had friends move away, I take time to grieve…even if they’ve stayed in my life, the distance does change things. Then I put in the work to stay in touch. For some, it’s phone calls/letters, others it’s texts…depends on the person. Overtime it becomes clear if the other person is going to reciprocate the effort, and then I sit down and consider (if they aren’t investing in the friendship), “am I OK with this?” Sometimes the answer is yes…I have friends I only hear from once a year and it’s cool – we can still talk like no time has passed. Sometimes my head/heart say no, and I accept it, thank the universe for the time we had, and let them go. Sometimes we reconnect later down the line, sometimes not.

Then I take the free time to find new friendships/relationships or get reacquainted with myself. Usually the latter. It’s a lonely time, but so worth it. Those are the times I’ve reinvented myself.

Best of luck to you! Be kind to yourself, and just take it day by day with your friend.