@belle2016 Thanks so much for taking the time to log in and reply.

Our situations seem somewhat similar and I read your reply with tears in my eyes. I know I am a very caring person, and I think he knows that and he feels he can behave however her wants with me. that said we do have times when we get on . i said to him if he was “even” all the time it would be ok. But its the moods, the critisism, the negativity, the blame, i cannot take anymore.

We went for a few days away, and I thought being out of the enviroment might help, but he was still snappy and misreading everything. My five year old whispered to me one night “mummy, I hate daddy when he shouts at you”. So its not just me why I have to escape from this. He loves his kids, but he doesn’t understand what a bad example he is being to them. Its so sad.

So, yesterday I had a friend look into some rental properties for me because I want him to stay in our house so he has something to focus on and I am happy to share the kids with him if he agrees. i haven’t told him yet I plan to leave, but in the next two weeks i want too. I also confided in two more friends, 0ne is very fond of him, so her reaction was quite important to me. The one thing I remember her saying is “I would have left him ages ago”. She also said, you are such a good person to be thinking about him, but its time to put yourself first.

However, I know I need to get over the guilt about leaving him, stop worrying so much. he is an adult, I have done more than a normal person would, and I will still be there for him if he needs me.

I hope you find some strength soon, keep replying!