Help! So I plucked up the courage to talk to him today and told him I thought I should leave. Now I am confused, he cried a little bit, asked if there is any way back, and is kinda pushing me to make a decision whether I am saying its totally over or whether we can try. I am thinking now perhaps I was a bit premature in telling him and should have just waited until the next blow up and leave………

Where is my head? One minute I am 100% convinced I need to leave, next minute I feel sorry for him and don’t want to see our family unit dissolved. I told him I don’t feel like my mental health is very good. I feel anxious all the time. He said he understands most of what I am saying but some of it he doesn’t. I don’t think (because his memory is poor or selective) he realises the impact he has had on me.

Last night he came with me to take the boys to Karate (its in a new place so he needed to know where to take them in the future). I said to him that during the lesson “I need to go to the shopping centre to pick up my eldest’s school books, you can either stay and watch or come with me if you want to”. Knowing he wasn’t in a great mood. Anyway he decided to stay and watch, and today he accused me of meeting a friend during that hour. I didn’t, I went to the shopping centre like I said to pick up the books which he knew, because I had them with me.

Am I unreasonable? Am I being completely controlled? I don’t honestly think he knows he is doing it half the time….. I asked him to think about what he can do to help things, although I feel and I told him) it might be too late.

I feel like all the soul searching I have done in the last few days has been flipped and I am back to square one again.

Truthfully I love him so much, however I know my mental health is staring to be seriously affected!