Dear cherryblossom:

I read through your posts on this thread, trying to get a better understanding of your situation and will try to get it as-I-type the following:

You’ve been unemployed since December 2015. You experienced family relationship troubles for some time (no details on this thread). In your last job you experienced mental agony, as I understand it: relationship troubles with your boss at the time and co workers (them betraying you and then, you wrote that you betrayed them).

You have been applying to positions in other companies but also in the company for which you worked last, communicating with the same boss and co workers.

You are concerned with the boss’s motivation for re-hiring you, with whether the co workers like you… and in the new companies for which you interviewed (last post), you feel interrogated or accused and angry at being treated somewhat as a suspect.

You feel, understandably, great pressure to be employed again. You feel not in control of your work life, lost and powerless and therefore, that you “Need a miracle” (title of thread).

Is my summary so far correct?

If so, I think you are lost in HR politics and policies that I am not familiar with. You are also lost in taking your last work experience ending December last year very personally: stuck on the old boss’s motivation for rehiring you (does it really matter why he would hire you if your goal is to be hired?) and in dynamics with co workers, perhaps, cross betrayal thing. But they like you now, you wrote, so maybe you did get lost in drama that lives in your brain more than in reality?

Maybe the miracle you need is some sort of Clarity, a cognitive sorting out of feelings and reality, of understanding What-is-going-on here?

Awaiting your response.

anita