Yup, you do come across like that.
Ever heard about the inner critic, or, corresponding to that, the outer critic?
There is some great work on that (and how to deal with it) by Pete Walker, and a lot of it is freely accessible on his website, like this article:

http://pete-walker.com/pdf/ShrinkingOuterCritic.pdf

Just the abstract:
“This article describes childhood trauma’s role in creating an intimacy-destroying, toxic outer critic – a counterpart of the self esteem-destroying inner critic described in my article: “Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD”. The outer critic projects onto others the same processes of perfectionism and endangerment that the inner critic uses against the self. It perseverates about the unworthiness [imperfection] and treacherousness [dangerousness] of others to avoid emotional investment in relationships for fear they will replicate early parental betrayals.
The outer critic builds fortresses of isolation whose walls are enumerations of the exaggerated shortcomings and potential treacheries of others. In an awful irony, the critic attempts to protect us from abandonment by scaring us further into it…”

Might wanna look into that.