Dear Cheryl:

Reads to me that he chose to close the chapter, to end the marriage because it was easier for him, a faster way to feel better than therapy while staying in the marriage would have been. It was the fastest way of relieving his distress.

But then he texts you about his feeling sad and so he triggers in you “need to think he still loves me.”

If the marriage did indeed end, if he did close this chapter in his life, he shouldn’t be texting you these words. It is dishonest and incongruent with his actions. So indeed your decision to “cut all contact” seems a good decision to me.

As to “any tips of letting go of this need to punish him , the need to think he still loves me”- not allowing him to trigger you anymore (texting and otherwise) is crucial.

Maybe an email to him expressing your anger at him?

anita