Hey Laura,

First of all, I want to say you are not alone in feeling alone – we all face this at some point in our life and more so, thanks to the new trend of concentration of jobs in certain locations, global trotter life-styles etc in particular. There was a time I used to feel something was wrong with me because I didnt have that many friends – I was introverted, selective and rather suspicious to be honest. Over time though, after several experiences away from home, outside my comfort zone, I have concluded the following:

1) Quality matters over quantity. However, quality takes time – a good relationship is like a plant that needs care and time. Trust is something that takes time. So one needs to be realistic about the connect they will have with new people – As Midnight says, go with an open mind and less expectations on intimacy, more on basic courtesies. Best friends take time, hell even years actually.

2) What we are wired to seek are two things – company and the feeling of deep connection. What most people struggle with when they move to a new place alone is they no longer have that usual circle with whom they can do things with. The activities are missed and they feel bored – boredom causes more negative thinking to happen and judgments about oneself. The feeling of deep connection is something you already have with your sister and two friends – a connection that stands time and distance – whenever you get sad, remind yourself of that. There are some people out there who are truly alone, bitter and hopeless – you aren’t in that state thankfully.

3) Fill your days with activities and interests – learn to enjoy your company and that of others without excess expectations on them. Its good you know what type of people you want in your life – dont settle for shitty behavior.

And in the end, if you still feel alone, know you are not alone – what really matters is how connected you feel to yourself and to others, how satisfied you are with your life.

Of course, the most practical advice i can give you is to move back and be closer to loved ones or forge new friendships over time – 1 year is a very short time bdw, relationships take time and lighter, frequent interactions initially.

I hope you find a way in this new city.

Do post here sometime, would love to hear from you.

Regards,
Nina