Dear Cheryl,

“I know he is coming from a bad place too , but i want him to realise what he’s lost , I don’t want him to suffer as such .
Writing this I feel so calm and unattached , this is how I want to be but soon as I see a text, my heart pounds like mad and my anger flares up”

Can Buddhism help you let go of the need to make him realize he is lost too, knowing that everyone has to walk their path and if needed, make the mistakes they need to, and understand things on their own and when they are ready? Let go of your need to make him accept a piece of your mind about him or his decisions, knowing that in time he may or may not understand your point?

Maybe your calmness is being disrupted by his messages, because when there are none, you feel unattached, yet you are attached to the desire to “make him realise” which is not allowing you to completely detach from his messages. You cannot make him stop sending them, but you can adjust your expectations from the result of these messages.

As you said, you are already half way through detachment as you feel compassion for him coming from a bad place too, it looks to me that your next step should be to let go of making him understand.