Dear trulatique:

One never knows what will happen. You cannot possibly know for sure what will happen when he gets out of jail and the two of you are free to get together and maybe live together. But you can make an educated guess how it will be; you can make reasonable assumptions based on your observations so far.

1. He has a very bad temper, you wrote: his bad temper is not likely to disappear once he is out of jail.

2. He told you that you have to prove yourself to him because you cheated on him once at the beginning of the relationship (while he was- and still is since- in jail). He is likely to continue to point the finger of blame at you, to hold that cheating against you again and again… and again. No matter what you do and how hard you try, you are likely to be forever- guilty in his mind and be reminded of it… again and again and yet again.

3. You wrote: “he always tells me he can’t give me much while he is in there except his heart..” He can give you something else: the freedom to attend your sister’s wedding (the freedom you have and do not require him giving it to you), forgiveness for having cheated on him long ago, peace (not the fighting with you that has been going on).

So when you added: “…and when he gets out he promises he will change his life around and to his best for me”- he can do what is best for you now (the freedom, forgiveness and peace I just mentioned), so I am guessing he is likely to continue NOT doing what is best for you.

—— and so, you can make educated and reasonable assumptions about how it is likely to be. Yes, you will not know for sure- but you can know 90-95% it will be this way or that way.

anita