Anita

You are right, I only know what I know – I learn and experience in my own time and nobody else’s. Other people just seem intent on spoon-feeding me because they have more experience than I do – which is fair enough but I would rather learn from my own experiences than being told by other people.

It’s interesting how you suggest that the people who are so judgemental didn’t have shiny happy pasts, these people who seemingly have everything. It never really occurred to me I guess, I just thought some people were mean and judgemental and too conservative just for the sake of being those things.

I don’t know for certain what causes them to act so judgemental – insecurity? Peer pressure? Take this person who called me and made me doubt myself – I think he was always pressured to act and behave in a certain way and pushed to succeed, he must also faced a lot of scrutiny from everybody growing up and now he has a high-profile job, the pressure and scrutiny to do well all the time with no margin for error. Being somebody who often thinks the worst in people, I just thought he was being a smug arsehole just for the sake of being that.

My older sister – she was always the nice one, the pretty one, the girl who was popular, loads of friends and always went to parties. Is it that she had a lot to live up to, being the popular girl? Did she feel insecure and couldn’t allow herself to be flawed for fear that they would look down on her and say mean things?

Is them being judgemental and condescending their way of avoiding their own insecurities of feeling scrutinised? Do they judge according to how they fear they might be judged?

I never really thought about it that way. I always thought that they just act that way because they can.

This is interesting. I have a lot to think about now. Thankyou for helping me to reach this viewpoint.

What do you think?

Joe

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by Joe.