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    Would working part time be an option for you and then using the free time to draw? Do you have weekends off that you could dedicate to drawing?

    I hope what I’m about to write doesn’t discourage you but I was in a similar situation (although I didn’t have any savings to fall back on). I tried turning my illustration into a full time venture, but with very little money and still relying on parents for support. There was a lot of things I underestimated – promoting my work, not really having any kind of direction with my work, having to keep records of everything for tax purposes, business expenses (paying for a website, online listing fees, banking fees for the separate account I opened – on top of all that, it was difficult and discouraging for me when I wasn’t getting any responses. All this while dealing with depression and low confidence – I found that being in that mindset and trying to make it work was overwhelming.

    Many artists and illustrators need to use social media to promote themselves, and building an online following doesn’t happen overnight.  What I also found frustrating was all my friends and family constantly asking how much money I was making and when was I going to get a real job. I hated to admit it because I’m stubborn but they were right, I couldn’t carry on like this and I had to put it on the backburner for my own sanity.

    Having said that, it’s not impossible – there are artists, designers and illustrators out there who do live off their art for a living, and they have managed to turn it into a full time venture.

    I highly recommend you read “The Multi Hyphen Method” by Emma Gannon.

    What do you think?


    • This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by Joe.




    Nice to be back, hope you are well.

    I did try applying for internal job vacancies at the uni but so far, no luck. I am waiting to hear about an internship in another country (one which involves a role relevant to what I want to do, it’s in Europe and not teaching English – I’m not going down the TEFL road again). I’m not clinging to the possibility of going to this internship because I don’t want to get my hopes up to find myself disappointed, and I told myself if I found something here in the UK then I would go for that instead.

    There are options for further study and training but one which involves teacher training (and I have no desire to teach school kids). There are loans available now for PHD’s but I’m not going for that because that means more student debt, possibly another great big employment gap and I wouldn’t know what to do (personally I don’t see any merit in having an art PHD, but that’s just my opinion).

    I think the fact that I’m not throwing myself into rash decisions I might not be able to come back from so easily is a sign that I’ve made some personal progress over the past year, as well as not throwing myself into freelancing/self employment when I know that self employment is a slow burner with no instant gratification or guarantee of success.

    I have booked an appointment to speak with a counselor at uni but as I have less than a month left of uni, I only see myself having one or two sessions.

    What do you think?




    who would have thought
    that which you
    curse me with
    who would have thought
    that you
    stifling my every word
    silencing me
    speaking for me
    who would have thought
    that all along
    you were giving me
    you were teaching me
    my greatest gift
    my greatest lesson
    and though
    i’ve lost my way a few times
    i realised
    that the silence
    you condemn me with
    is the greatest power
    at my arsenal
    at my disposal
    there are
    lots of things
    i want to say,
    i could say
    given the chance
    but i’ve decided
    not to
    i will just sit back
    like the quiet child
    you think i am
    you can talk
    as much as you like
    i am not in competition
    with you anymore
    you can say your precious words
    if that’s what you want
    you can decide
    all you like
    because you will never know
    you can try
    to provoke a reaction
    to worm your way in
    so arrogant
    to assume that
    you think
    you can speak the truth of another
    you can speak the truth for another
    i will just smile
    because you will never know
    you can be caught up
    in your illusion
    in your delusion
    you can point fingers
    you can tell your version of events
    but all i will do
    is look at the one
    who points the fingers
    i lusted for revenge
    to get even
    to speak uninterrupted
    to let you know
    to expose you
    but you can expose yourself
    maybe i knew
    all along
    that to speak
    that to talk
    that to idle chit-chat
    is to give away
    your power
    and my power
    is not your’s for the taking
    without further ado
    i bid you adieu
    i wish nothing more
    than the best for you
    i wish
    that you get all of the good things
    that one can get in this life
    the only thing you will never have
    are my words
    my songs
    my power
    my truth
    my attention
    my thoughts
    my energy
    my soul
    you can keep all the ugly rotten ones
    that you’ve already got.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by Joe.


    Those “ghosts from the past”- if you wanted to forget, or to move on, how would you stop those ghosts from the past from reappearing in your life, I wonder.

    Avoiding them like the plague. Deleting all evidence of their existence and all evidence of time spent together. Deleting their contact information so that there is no way for me to ever get in touch with them. I never even gave them my new phone number either. Little did I realise that they still had the house number and this person rung up the other day, just when I was making a conscious effort to move on and focus my attention on other things. I had even stumbled across Mel Robbins on Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk2U-Oqn7RXf-ydPqfSxG5g/featured and her 5 second rule, and I wanted to start applying that to my life.

    There was backhanded sarcasm between us but mostly the conversation didn’t descend into another verbal sparring match. He had been talking to the other people of the group, “being all nostalgic about the old days, we should have a catch up, bla bla bla….” I think I have mentioned this before but the thought of meeting up with these people used to make me feel sick to the stomach. I was caught off guard by this whole thing and I said I might be up for meeting up – I hate that most of the time I psyche myself out to tell people what I really feel but when the time comes, I just can’t. Part of me does want to go just to put this whole thing behind me but the phonecall has just reopened the wound and made me feel bitter and torn about lots of other things besides this. I just hate the fact that he rang the house phone and that my dad answered (he never asks who is calling, just thrusts the phone into my hand).




    I always enjoy reading your thoughts on my poetry/ramblings. Alas, a new development on this saga has occurred;

    Just when I was ready
    To free myself
    Forgive myself
    Forgive you
    Bury the hatchet
    Bury you in ancient history
    By some freak accident
    You phone out of the blue
    Life has a nasty habit
    Of sending me more ghosts from the past
    When I am about to walk away
    I hope
    I worry
    That all the other ugliness
    That all the other nightmares
    Don’t come true
    But I take this
    As a sign from the universe
    We have unfinished business
    And I have a bone to pick with you

    You’re stubborn
    You’re a fool
    You don’t know how to take a hint
    You’re a glutton for punishment
    Just like me
    It’s time you were told
    You caught me off guard
    But I refuse to let you win.

    Been avoiding you like the plague
    But I’m not running away
    Let’s just skip the formalities
    The backhanded insults
    And cut to the chase
    We have a score to settle.
    You best make one last stop
    At the last chance saloon
    We can have a stand off
    In the street
    You can bring your cronies
    But I will bring
    An army of me.

    Lay it all out
    Give me all you’ve got
    Do your worst
    Because I’ve been hit before
    Because I’ve heard it all before
    When are you going
    To get it in your head
    I do not want you anymore
    I do not need you anymore
    You cannot hurt me anymore
    And when are you going
    To get it in your head
    That I never forget?



    we were never
    going to be the best
    of friends
    polar opposites
    but we’re both
    so stubborn
    so proud
    so set in our ways
    i’m glad
    things are good for you
    i hope
    all your dreams come true
    you have nothing
    that i want
    for you
    to let me off the hook
    not everybody is like you
    not everybody wants the things you do
    i don’t know
    what made you
    so highly strung
    and you
    don’t know
    what made me
    bitter and twisted
    we don’t know
    the entire story
    we only think we know
    but we don’t
    i have
    imaginary conversations with you
    where we can put the world to rights
    put aside our differences
    i wish
    we could talk
    face to face
    no interruptions
    no insults

    you once said
    that there’s more to me
    than i let on
    i’m not willing
    to show you
    i think there’s more to you
    than you let on
    but you divert it all
    when you’re the one
    trying to break in
    it’s funny
    i know nothing about you
    all i have
    is a vague picture
    that i’ve been painting
    you keep telling me
    how to live my life
    but you need to know
    i don’t suffer fools
    i wasn’t born
    to live up to you
    everybody starts off
    with a blank slate
    for anybody kind enough
    to give me the time of day
    you pushed my buttons
    i had to keep from exploding
    for the sake of everybody else
    i gave you the benefit of the doubt

    never said i was perfect
    i’m the first to admit
    you hold us all
    to high standards
    you are quick
    to point the finger
    you are quick
    to discuss my fate
    with your jury
    you’ve had your way
    trapped me
    silenced me
    suffocated me
    stockholm syndrome
    in spite of all this
    a tiny part of me
    wants to believe
    you mean well
    you do it for my own good
    in spite of all this
    a tiny part of me
    wants to believe
    that you’re a person
    just like me
    your own ghosts
    your own demons
    your own wounds
    in spite of all this
    you’re not all that bad
    even if your ugly side
    is louder

    out there
    be monsters
    i’m well aware
    you don’t need to remind me
    because my battles
    are mine alone
    not yours
    for the fighting
    not yours
    for the taking
    in here
    be monsters
    why can’t you see
    that i don’t need you
    to save me from my sins
    why can’t you see
    that i need to learn the hard way
    because if things were easy
    i wouldn’t learn a thing
    ever makes it all go away
    no magic wand
    to erase all the corruption
    you might fool others
    you might fool yourself
    but you don’t fool me

    it’s been a year
    since we last spoke
    your words still ring
    on a vicious repeat loop
    like a vindictive ghost
    all i want
    is freedom
    i can’t even look
    at you anymore
    you’re just another ghost
    in another photograph
    another fowl reminder
    i have to keep you
    at arms length
    i ran away
    avoiding my day in court

    my business
    is with you
    and you alone
    you only want to talk
    with your execution squad
    at your side
    so what say
    we settle the score
    one on one
    face to face
    for old time’s sake
    you bring your pride
    i bring my shame
    you can condemn me
    all you like
    kick me when i’m down
    spit on me
    hate me
    but all that i ask
    is that
    you bloody well listen




    Interesting, this: “I’m having imaginary conversations with them/…Pretending that they are the good guys”- this makes me think that part of you believe the message about personal worth. Clearly, at the least, you once believed it. Who hasn’t.

    I can’t help but have imaginary conversations with these people, where they finally shut up and listen to what I have to say instead of talking over me. I know for a fact that I want nothing more to do with these people and I’ve been avoiding them like the plague for the past few years but sometimes I just can’t help but wonder what it would be like if we still met up.

    “When truth spits in your face” and this post is an expansion on the post I wrote about wanting the last word with the toxic frenemy; it’s about the same group of people I spent time with but I never really felt part of that group. Originally we were all a massive group until one of the other participants persisted in pressing my buttons so I got into a really ugly confrontation and called him some really colourful four-letter words. Button Pusher, his roommate and my roommate formed their own clique from then on and I got accused by The Frenemy of creating a divide within the group – so it’s my fault that I told Button Pusher to back off because he was making me feel uncomfortable and bombarding me with deeply personal questions? I did ask him politely to stop what he was doing to begin with but he took offense and swore at me, which elevated into an extremely ugly verbal sparring match. Even then, I was the one being told to calm down by the others and not being allowed to explain myself.

    Regarding the false belief that I am unworthy for not having what they have – that’s more like their false belief, not mine. They have nothing that I want. They went out of their way to make me feel unworthy for not having the same things or aspirations as they do. Not wanting the same things they want. As if somehow they expect everybody to have the same things or want the same things.

    “Aren’t you going to the gym” Uh no, do you think I need to go?

    “Aren’t you coming with us to the football match?” Uh no, does it look like I enjoy sports?

    “Aren’t you going to get your haircut?” My hair is okay as it is, thankyou very much.

    “That’s your phone? That’s so old!” Oh yeah, because I’ve always judged a persons worth by what bleedin’ phone they have…

    I ended up with the other half of the group by default but I just felt uncomfortable and suffocated around these people. They were constantly bitching and gossiping about one another, and just constantly whining about everything and they believed that they deserved the best of everything, which just really irritated me. The other members of the group were quite conservative and religious and I never felt like I was able to express my own views or opinions for fear they would react badly, because they acted as though everybody should have the same beliefs and opinions as they did (but I guess it didn’t matter, because according to them I was a devil worshipper because of my appearance and taste in music). I think at that point I firmly decided against organised religion, and that I was agnostic.

    The placement ended 3 years ago and we’ve gone our separate ways – they all seem to be in great graduate-level jobs in law/ICT/whatever and I’ve been mostly unemployed/sometimes freelance/volunteering/warehouse work for an evil bloodthirsty corporation which shall remain nameless/warehouse work for a lesser bloodthirsty parcel delivery company/depressed. They have been trying to organise group reunions and I’ve had to make excuses to get out of going to these reunions because I dread the thought of being asked “So what are you up to? Are you working?” I’ve destroyed my old phone and the simcard so that there is no chance in hell that they will be able to get in touch with me now. I know I said I wanted to have the last word with The Frenemy and I have destroyed his phone number so there is no way I will be able to do that now. I think I do still have his e-mail address. I could send him an e-mail telling him that I’m not happy at all but how is that going to help? He would probably not read it, just dismiss and deny everything and slag me off even more to the group “Joe is an absolute headcase, he has some serious issues, bla bla bla…”


    • This reply was modified 6 years, 11 months ago by Joe.

    More delightfully dark and twisted stream of consciousness stuff because I love delightfully dark and twisted! It just flows out and the more I write, the more ideas I get and the more inspired I become. I’d really love to do something which involves more writing and more wordplay but combining with artwork as well…

    Truth Spits In Your Face

    Some people
    They have everything
    In their own minds
    They are royalty
    Spoiled little princes and princesses
    Who deserve all the good in this world
    In their minds
    They are perfection
    They are the shiny happy people
    They are the lucky ones
    Boy do they like to show it
    With their gold
    With their achievements
    With their careers
    Their beautifully expensive clothes
    A living walking breathing photocopy
    Of a trendy fashion catalogue
    They show and tell their lives
    Through their smartphones
    Through bloodless plastic shark smiles
    The lucky ones are happy and healthy
    They are pure as the snow
    Free of corruption and sin
    God loves them but nobody else
    They aren’t affected
    They aren’t afflicted
    With inner disease
    Why would they
    When there is nothing beneath the surface
    They are not human
    So they wouldn’t understand
    The affliction
    Underneath their human disguise
    They are snakes made from plastic
    You and I
    And everybody else
    We’re beneath them
    We’re below them
    Because we don’t have it all
    We don’t have a hope in hell
    Know your place
    Because they spit in the faces
    Of everybody
    Having to clean up after them
    At the first sign of weakness

    But just remember,
    Your towering ladder
    Your stepping stones into the sky
    Nobody reaches the top
    Nobody gets to heaven
    It’s a risky business
    When you are so high up
    Because it’s a long fall
    And a long way down.
    Is ever going to bring you to the top
    You will never find your storybook ending
    Your happily ever after
    And you
    Are not untouchable.

    They will swarm in their mob
    And spread disease about you
    All over the streets
    After shooting and stabbing you in the back
    After tearing you to shreds
    Like rabid wolves
    Just for not being like them
    They will come for you
    To crucify you
    To nail you to their dartboard
    We are freaks
    Who deserve to be locked up
    And burned at the stake
    They hold the power
    When they point the finger
    Drive them away
    Drive them out of the town
    But there’s nowhere to go
    Nowhere to escape
    There’s no magic beanstalk
    To take me away
    There’s no giant peach
    There’s no Hogwarts Express
    There’s no alien space ship

    Through their lies
    Their wholesome image
    Of how they are such nice people
    They cast doubt
    All this time
    I’m having imaginary conversations with them
    Pretending that they are human
    Pretending that they are friends
    Pretending that they are the good guys
    It’s easy to see things for what they really are
    When you step back from the bigger picture
    It’s been a whole year
    Since we last spoke
    If you could call it that
    Because apparently
    I’m not allowed to speak
    Unless through a self-elected spokesperson
    And even then
    They decide what should be spoken
    I’ll be back to get you
    Some nice sunny day
    And you will wish
    You never crossed my path at all

    I smirk and sneer
    And spit
    At the faces of those fools
    Who think they have it all
    My captors
    My oppressors
    They underestimate me
    They thought
    I was a puppet
    So rigid, easily controllable
    But my nose will always stay the same
    Because I only speak the truth
    I’m not your ventriloquist dummy
    You don’t get to speak for me
    Decide for me
    Control me
    I cut the puppet strings a long time ago
    Words speak truth
    There is purity in fire
    Burning away all their sin
    They burn up
    When you reflect the mirror right back into their faces
    An uncontrollable vessel
    They say never to open Pandoras box
    For it contains all the sin
    All the disease
    All the misfortune
    But it also contains truth
    And we can’t have that in the world, can we?
    Because if truth were to exist
    They would have to be held accountable
    For their crimes
    Wicked deeds
    It must be awful
    For the self-righteous
    When they realise
    They aren’t at all innocent
    Because sinners can always repent
    Can’t they?

    They look in horror
    And shock
    As I walk over to their weak frail bodies
    Lying on the floor
    Caught in my trap
    Like fruit flies and other worthless insects
    In a spiders web
    You can have all your poison back
    You can have all my poison
    My shame
    You thought
    I was just some worthless docile little boy
    Without a mind to call his own
    Didn’t see that coming, did you?
    Too stunned
    To even utter a word
    They squirm
    They deny
    Even in their last breath
    They are the innocent ones
    No? If that’s all you’ve got
    Then you can
    Go To Hell

    I guess I’m worried that I’m painting myself in a really negative light here on the forums by writing all this really bitter twisted vengeful stuff but it’s really cathartic and I’m in my element when I can just pour out without worrying about all the ensuing ugliness.



    I fail to see how we are ignorant when we have no empirical experience of light workers or kundalini. I am not dismissing your posts or your claims at all – I have not experienced the things you have, I am not a lightworker and I don’t know a lot about kundalini; I have read about it a few times but not enough to warrant becoming an expert on the subject, and I have never had any firsthand experience with it either. Despite my lack of knowledge or firsthand experience, I have always read your posts with fascination and kept an open mind; and no, open-mindedness doesn’t mean I instantly believe in everything I read, it means I am open to the possibility of it being true but still being sceptical. Not everybody will believe what you believe and you can’t seriously expect somebody to automatically believe your claims. So that makes me and everybody else here on TinyBuddha ignorant?

    Other members such as PearceHawk and Anita have tried their best to help you and give you the best advice they possibly can, and when they haven’t been able to provide you with definitive answers you just throw it back in their face. When nobody responds to your posts (probably because we don’t have the answers to your problems) you just respond back with hostility. Yes, some people do come to Tiny Buddha for relationship advice because we are better equipped to give advice on relationships. That’s because relationships are important to everybody. Why are other peoples relationship problems any less important than your problems?

    Spirituality is a subjective thing for everybody and it’s a personal thing for different people. Everybody follows their own path at their own pace, you don’t get to tell other people that they are “spiritual play acting”.

    I don’t know what you are looking for here on the forums but I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear, I’m not going to pretend to be a lightworker, I’m not going to pretend that I have all the answers and I’m not going to give you help or advice when it’s out of my expertise. I hope you get the help and answers to your problems that you need because I am unable to provide those for you.

    All the best




    You can’t expect everybody to know anything about this topic or have all the answers because I certainly don’t. I do actually read your posts but I haven’t responded to any of them because I really don’t know how to reply. Yes, TinyBuddha does centre around spirituality to an extent but from the 3 years I have spent on this site, the main focus is more on mindfulness and wellbeing and not on things like that which you have discussed. I don’t know about other members here on the forums but I am not qualified to give you a definite answer . I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, spiritual leader, guru, shaman, doctor or lightworker, and I don’t think many of us are these things.  I have never came across any advice or articles with regards to things like kundalini, spiritual experiences or lightworkers here on this site, and I have never experienced any of those things before.

    I am sorry we are not able to help or give definite answers but being angry and telling us “f**k you” is not going to help. I think you are expecting too much here on the forums when nobody is able to give you a straightforward answer.

    All the best






    This is most interesting. Some valid points you raise here, thanks for sharing! I’m on the fence when it comes to the concept of god. I don’t believe in the Judeo-Christian god, I don’t have all the answers to everything but sometimes I’m still open to the possibility of there being some kind of higher power just as much as I’m open to the possibility of there being no higher power. Some things I do believe in, some things I don’t believe in. I wanted to believe when I was younger and I would be hit with cognitive dissonance whenever I came across arguments against things like god, spirituality and the afterlife. I used to think that being open-minded meant fully believing and rejecting all other possibilities just because I didn’t “want there to be nothing” but that was just being close-minded instead. It took a while for me to admit that I didn’t have all the answers, I didn’t really know anything and that it was okay to not know everything.

    Sometimes I see people who use their faith and the concept of god and the devil in order to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. When people do bad things, abuse other people and/or animals and commit horrible crimes, it’s because “the devil made them do it”. That person doesn’t have to take responsibility, they can just wave the famous yet convenient “the devil made me do it” excuse as a get out of jail card.

    For some people, when things have gone their way, it’s because “god made it happen.” People believe that because they are obedient to whatever religion they follow, they are going to have good things happen to them and things are always going to go their way. I think this kind of attitude does nothing but breed self-entitlement. Sometimes I just get really irritated when I hear people say “God gave me that job” or “God gave me the new car” or “God made sure everything was okay during the operation”. So what about all of the other nice people who are genuinely doing everything they possibly can but don’t have jobs or nice things or they never get a break? So God decides to give you what you want and need but not anybody else? This whole idea of “God blessed me with such-and-such” just disgusts me sometimes, it just seems like such an insult to people who don’t have those things at all.

    People believe in things like the end of times and armageddon, that god will destroy all the evil away. Human beings are responsible for war, poverty, crime, murder, abuse, overpopulation, screwing up the environment, slaughtering innocent animals, theft, discrimination, you name it – and yet some people are so entitled that they think we as humans don’t have to address those things ourselves and act towards overcoming them – “it’s okay, we don’t have to do anything because god will take care of it. We can just sit back, blame it all on the devil and absolve ourselves because God will always be there to clean up our mess.”

    I mean no disrespect towards anybody who is a believer of any religion; I have met plenty of kind people who are religious and they are some of the nicest humble people a person could hope to meet, and they have never once tried to turn everything into a theological debate or patronise me with outlandish claims. I’m just speaking from personal experience of dealing with the kind of religious people who act outwardly self-righteous and self-entitled.

    Although I consider myself agnostic, lately I do find myself fascinated with paganism again.

    Please keep posting, this is a fascinating subject.




    Last year I shared an account of what I would describe as my dark night – https://tinybuddha.com/topic/story-of-my-dark-night/ – I’m not sure if you have read it on here before but if not, I invite you to read my story.

    Although I am in a much better place than I was back then, that experience was a turning point for me and I can’t ever go back or undo from what happened. It felt like nothing I did made me happy, it felt as though things weren’t going my way at all and everything I tried to make things better just seemed really pointless.

    Please post again





    I don’t use Facebook any more – it’s mind blowing just how parasitic it can become, how I wanted to get likes on everything I uploaded, adding people I had only ever spoken to once even though we could pass each other in the corridor and not glance at each other. It just seemed really artificial and vapid. People only posting the really good bits of their life and it projects this idea that everybody has this seemingly perfect life. Nobody wants to read about negativity or “people being real” and nobody wants to read lengthy posts about “real stuff”. I just feel like Facebook has made people more shallow and disconnected, and it’s almost like it has made all of us have a really short attention span.

    Facebook is something I avoid like the plague – I don’t want to connect with idiot former classmates or my idiot relatives, I don’t want to add people I hardly even speak to anyway and then trawl through endless status updates reading about how much they love watching ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ and I have no desire to put up with the subsequent whiny messages of “Why haven’t you added me? Why have you unfriended me? Why don’t you like me?” (Probably because I can’t stand you in real life?)

    The only social media platform I use is Instagram but that’s purely to promote my art business. I hate the fact that to make a Facebook page for my art business as well, I need to make a personal Facebook page when I really don’t want one.





    The Experiment was inspired by another book I had to read back in English Lit class, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. This was more about societal expectations and just expectations in general, represented by the different body parts being assembled and stitched together. A bricolage of different contrasting information and rules. They say one thing but do another, or then do a complete u-turn and then say the complete opposite thing.

    I always enjoy reading your interpretations, Anita.

    Ode To The Beautiful Shiny Happy People

    a haze of neon signs
    passing headlights
    blaring dance music
    vapid soulless mechanical
    overpowered car exhausts
    from cars
    driven by fowl-mouthed
    boy racers
    the smell
    of fried takeaway food
    police and ambulance sirens
    cigarette smoke
    boys and girls of the night
    the beautiful
    shiny happy people
    party animals
    they don’t come out
    until the sun has gone down
    the living dead
    with no souls of their own
    to claim another soul
    to own another soul
    to take it’s place
    reeking of Paco Rabanne
    reeking of bloodlust
    slicked back hair
    bloodshot eyes
    their gaunt looking face
    like a diseased human rat
    they have no honour
    they have no respect
    they puff
    on vaping machines
    like they are human nuclear power stations
    they don’t even have to try
    pitted against
    the other dogs
    they bark
    they bite
    the girls, they see
    they sniff out
    they treat their girls
    like pedigree chum
    like dog food
    the girls
    atomic peroxide
    heavy make-up
    vodka smiles
    the boys and girls
    always in competition
    to see who can be
    the loudest
    the funniest
    the biggest
    the craziest
    larging it
    they only live at night
    their life
    is a neon-covered fantasy
    with artificial lights
    their life
    is one massive rave
    one massive party
    pulsating strobe lights
    pulsating plastic party tunes
    for pulsating plastic party people
    life is a huge party
    where they assemble
    where they feast
    on chemical liquids
    where they sneak
    forbidden candy
    when nobody is looking
    and then vomit it all back out
    in a grimy toilet cubicle
    let’s see
    how many likes
    we can get on this photo
    which looks
    like all of the photos
    we have ever taken
    sunlight beckons
    they stagger back to whence they came
    sore bleeding eyes
    the living dead
    cower away
    from the sunlight
    too wasted
    too medicated
    too diseased
    to care


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