Hi kangli,
Don’t feel bad for divorcing your husband. Relationships that start in college are like training wheels in preparation for the one you’re supposed to be with later. I mean I loved/”loved” my college BF. But I totally get what you’re saying. The passion wasn’t there.
A child came out of it, so that was its blessing. Don’t let him say, “Bad things happen to bad people”. He just said that because he is hurting over the affair. The next time he says that say, “Yes, and good things happen to good people. We’re all a little bit good and bad, aren’t we? I should never have cheated on you and I hope you’ll forgive me someday.”
Onto your love interest. Now listen, decades will parade by and one day you will recognize suddenly that this guy was a jerk all along. He gets to play the power card and say out of the blue “I no longer have any feelings for you, you’re getting too clingy and it is getting too much for me”?? But he DID have feelings for you (even if just carnal). What he REALLY meant to say is “I can’t handle a needy side piece AND my kids AND my wife potentially finding out!”
I bet the wife knows or at least suspects.
And let’s get real: If you REALLY loved him, you would want him to be the best father he can be. You are just a distraction (of time, energy and/or $$$ that should really go to the wife and children). Why should he drop everything (work, dinner with his family, date night, helping kids with their homework etc.) and text/call/see you just because you had a fight with your ex husband??
Sorry so tough, but YOU need to continue putting all your energy into YOUR child. Forget love, romance and dating.
Time will help you get over that creep.
Blessings,
Inky
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