Sadly I know your pain and what your going through, breaking someone’s trust and trying to figure out how to regain it is hard , especially when they cut off communication on your part is equally hard . I have done that recently and hidden things that came to light , some of it was harmful more than needed to be. Your doing all you can to get communication going and he is wrapped up in anger to here you , it feels like they are putting more pride in their hurt , pain and anger that you can’t get through him. In your situation , first try to find ways to occupy your thoughts and give him space , work on ways to forgive your self and learn from this, keeplease your self active . As for your friend decide how much you need him in your life and seek closure if you need to cut him out of your life .