Dear blkhwkdwn1:

I just read your post above. Wish I read it sooner; still hoping you are reading this.

No wonder you are depressed: you are living with a father who yells at you. One yelling is one to many, and yet he “constantly yells at” you? While you are already depressed? Unconscionable!

And your sister pretends to care about you but does not; her motivation is that you pay her bills.

And your mother was a jukie when she was in your life.

And then, you were hoping for a friend but instead, you were her good-deed of the time and nothing else.

You wrote that you are weak- how are you supposed to be strong? How can a person be strong in these circumstances?

Ah, but exit these circumstances, you must. As long as you live with anyone at all who yells at you and verbally assaults you, you are still in a war zone.

Exit these living circumstances- THESE circumstances, away from that sorry-excuse of a father and away from all those who put you down and kept you down. If you are desperate enough to want to disappear- then pack up your things and move out ASAP.

Their behavior is not an indication of you being worthless. I know this because I was put down and kept down, and I believed I deserved it- to my surprise, I now know, really know, that I was a good girl, a good person right from the beginning and throughout.

I didn’t deserve it and neither do you.

anita