Dear Mountaindew – I am impressed by your self analysis and you seem to have great insight into your behaviour. It’s as if you are now an observer from the outside looking back at the behaviour of a different person. I am sure this will help you in your healing and self-development. Please could you help me with my understanding. When you were behaving badly (anger, control and other negativity) what was driving this in you? What were you trying to achieve? Why didn’t you want your friend to have the freedom to be himself? Presumably, what drives this is the cause of your relationship problems.