Thanks, JLo5. And I appreciate your reading my other thread. Honestly, it was hard hearing her reveal her lengthy past – at least it was to me. One of the toughest things I’ve ever heard in my life. She admitted that she knew my believe was that she had been with less than ten guys – and was glad to go with that. Her number (30) was blurted out in an argument last December. I’ve been somewhat stunned ever since.

I have spoken with a counselor. He was okay. Helped me sort things out.

I am much better. It is tough to not see her in a different light. I believe some of the difficulty here is her and my contrasting pasts (me: 0, her: 30). So, I do bring that to the table.

Lastly, and this is most helpful to me, I am able to separate what I want to know out of “basic information” from “nosey curiosity.” When your imagination goes wild (as I’ve heard it can in these cases), you want to know sordid details – and that leads to wanting to know more and more. For a while, my line to her was, “I just want to know who it is that I married.” But I now realize that at some point the questions must stop. Some (perhaps a lot) of her past really is her business. Which is why, as you’ve read in my previous thread, I’ve got to be at peace with having her tell me what she wants – or nothing at all. Still, it hurts and makes me both sad and disappointed. I know many will be all over me for judging my spouse, etc. But put yourself in my virgin shoes for just a moment.

Thanks.