HI Inky,
Acting selfish- that’s a new one to describe me. My first posts of months ago explain the whole story. It will explain the reason that I kept things under wraps.I have given my whole life and being to someone for 36 years, and it is “never enough”. I have taken emotional and mental abuse about putting me down, no matter what I do, subtle and consistently. All the missteps in my life that started with major manipulation 40 years ago.
As for unloading the house: I have paid all the bills, all the house expenses, etc. He has hoarded his money, even though I gave every year the tax refund that ran to 5-7K each year, to fix the house for emergencies, etc. He never did any major repairs and the house became a wreck over the last 17 years that we had been in it.I kept asking and getting estimates, but he would blow it off and we could “wait” til later. He was panicked that the house was going to need 40K in repairs ( which it did), that would match the exact amount in his savings acct that I had given to him over the years. So, I seized the opportunity and removed this burden that was wearing me down. He is actually relieved somewhat, as the proceeds from the house went right into his money market account, ( transferred from our joint acct0> I really dont care about the money, just want one less burden on me. I am 62 years old, and wearing down from the responsibility. He is now harping about the apartment. Nothing pleases him, and I keep trying to fix things to make him happy. So, taking the reins of my life back and hoping to survive the next steps. Just overwhelmed over the massive changes ( and more to come) in the last month or so.
Thank you for your good wishes!