Dear Shirley:

For the longest time I didn’t feel comfortable being female myself. At times I felt like I was male, even though biologically I have always been female, XX, born that way. I associated female with weakness and male with strength and hated being weak. I wanted to be strong, hence I wanted to be male. I felt uncomfortable wearing feminine clothes and shoes and preferred comfortable clothing. Was never much into make up or fixing my hair and such. I now realize strength is available for girls/ women and boys/ men. Traditionally, in modern society, men had the societal power, in the family and outside the family. Much had progressed in this regard. But obviously,not everywhere.

Here is how I view the issue now: female/ male is a biological distinction, one produces eggs (born with all the eggs ever produced) and the other produces sperms (during puberty and onward). There are some differences in muscle mass and distribution but that is not significant in modern high tech life. Other than that, you make your own rules, be what you want to be, wear what you want to wear. Climb trees if you want.

Don’t make your life about being female OR male. Take yourself outside the gender controversy.

anita