Dear Cali Chica and calisister:

Your mother is currently insane. The two of you, Cali Chica’s future husband, parents in law, other current and future family members, guests invited to the engagement party, are all getting on that insanity train at different stops, getting off at this or that stop and then getting on it again.

Who is at the wheel? Your mother. Your father is next to her, the compliant co-driver.

What is the reasonable, sane thing for the two of you to do, in these circumstances? It can’t be to continue as is, going on and off the train. It just can’t be the sane thing to do.

If there is a legal way to stop the train, then do that: if there is a way to force your mother to be hospitalized for evaluation and possible treatment, do that. If she refuses hospitalization, forcing her would involve the police, if legally possible.

If you can’t legally stop the train, that is, she refuses hospitalization and she cannot legally be forced to be hospitalized, then the two of you need to stop getting on that train and stay outside of that train, on stable ground, safe yourselves. Cali Chica, you owe it to your future husband, his parents and family, to highly recommend that they get off the train and stay off.

The two of you, really, have to stop accommodating your mother’s insanity.

The trip to India reads to me like a planned disaster and so does any and all involvement of your mother in your life.

A family meeting is a good idea, only one that does not include your mother. If your father is indeed submissive to your mother, then the meeting needs to be without the two of them. Facts have to be presented as they are: your mother is insane. Now what do we do? Make it a group process of thinking and executing a plan.

For crying out loud, Cali Chica and calisister, get off the train, stay off, call a family meeting not involving your mother, and make a sane plan.

anita