Hello James,
I’ve been the wife waiting for my husband to show his love for me, and then doubting it was real when he did. And then wondering if I still loved him, while knowing deep down that I did. Give her time. It’s not easy. This world likes to make it seem like everything happens fast and easy, and it’s just not so. Relationships are always complex and it doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for years or are just trying to get to know someone for the first time. I love the advice from Ninja. Follow that. My personal feeling is that your wife does love you but her feelings are on ‘Numb’ right now. Love is multi-facited. I don’t know how else to put it, but I’ve been there. I’ve been in that place. My husband gave up and divorced me when I left him, and that isn’t why I left. I wanted him to keep fighting for me and our marriage. He didn’t. I’m still single, and he’s remarried with a new baby. Just because she’s talking separation doesn’t mean she really wants that. Keep doing the little things everyday. They add up. Yes, you have to love yourself, but don’t wait for that magical moment when you realize you do. Depression is a part of life. Don’t let it run yours.

Speaking of depression,something that may help, and really helped me when I was going through some serious depression, is listening to motivational books on Audible. Not about relationships, I recommend ‘The Power of Ambition’, by Jim Rohn, or anything by Joe Vitale, Tony Robbins, Zig Zigler or Earl Nightingale. My personal guru is Grant Cardone, but he’s mostly sales stuff – but listening to him changed my life. His attitude is catching. Check out ‘Be Obsessed or Be Average’. And listen to him, don’t just read the books. It’s more powerful hearing these gurus speak. My favorite place is while driving or flying. Hearing the passion these guys pour out really helps. I went from having a hard time with life, to being a top performer in my job and feeling good about myself and life.

Your wife will see the change in your attitude. It may peak her interest as to what caused it. You’re not at the point of no return yet, and if you keep working at making things work, I doubt you ever will be. You’re a train going through a dark tunnel right now, but there is a light coming. Just keep chugging down the track!

I’m pulling for you, we’re all in this together.
Jessi