Dear singhcool:

On this thread and in your update you shared that you moved to the US when you were 10 and did not see your father ever since, ten years ago. You lived with your uncle in the US, but he treated you like an outcast and a slave. You had to work for him so to pay for your living expenses. Your mother lived with you and your uncle, but she too worked for him and you hardly had any time with her. Other relatives made fun of you.

What a child need is a safe home where you are not made fun of, but instead valued and protected from harm. You needed an adult to look at you with affection in their eyes, saying with that look: “I am so glad you are here. So glad you are in my life. This is your home. I will take care of you, teach you and protect you.

Without that welcome and attention, we disconnect from our emotions because we hurt too much. We think about our lives as if it was a math problem to be solved, as if we were robots who needed the right logical programming to operate. But what we need, as human beings, is our emotions to guide us in life, in addition to logic. Logic is simply not enough and cannot be enough.

The missing link is the link to your emotions. Once you locate that missing link to your emotions, you will feel alive- you will feel hurt but also joy, and you will feel connected to other people, being able to form healthy relationships with others.

You are not the only person in this state of disconnection, with a missing link. I am still working on my missing link. There are many of us. Linking, connecting, healing is possible. Keep posting. It will take time, but there are ways to reconnect with your emotions and (selectively) with other people.

anita