Best thing I see is for you two to move on , she is struggling to find the once love she had for you but it’s not their. She misses what you once had, sees the man you are , but can’t find it heart to love you anymore. You tried and put effort to bring back the love but it’s not their in her heart no feeling. A relationship takes two not one . As for her bout with depression, she blames you for the reason, but you were their for in the only way you knew how, that is taking care of the family and doing your best to be there for her when you could. And maybe she uses that as a reason for feeling the lack of love for you but maybe it’s something else inside. Maybe she need to find more meaningful tasks in her life that this is not what she wants anymore. Your love and marriage was good, and she knows that, it’s why she is still around, but it is not the life she wants with you, she doesn’t love you . I know it hurts but it’s time to move on shake hands and agree you two had a good run together, and be at peace with each other.