Thanks Anita, I asked my wife this morning about the separation. Yes, when she originally told me in July of 2015 that she no longer loves me she had had thoughts of separating and was leaning that way. However, what she didn’t expect was my response to keep working on relationship and see if we could make it work. She said it really surprised her. She has seen the hard work and acknowledges it. I think my problem is while I have made a strong effort to work on our relationship my constant cycles of happiness followed by bouts of sadness have been really draining on our relationship. I honestly don’t think I’ve been patient for longer than 10 days and have to “check in” with her to see how she feels. It’s only been a few months since I started reading and researching about this and I now know that this was one of the worst things that I could do. Every time I “try” she admits that it is nice but she is anticipating a period of depression. It was her birthday yesterday and on the weekend I took her out to have some fun and didn’t bring up our relationship once and at the end of the night she said she had fun and it had been a long time since we had fun. This was good news but then on Sunday afternoon I got sad again and perhaps undid the positives of the night before. I know I need to accept that it likely won’t work and I have to work on finding happiness for myself and not seek happiness from my wife. To try and deal with this I am now seeing a counsellor and I am hoping that this will help me become a happier person. If I am a happier person, and I can sustain it, then I am hopeful anything can happen. This is something that I haven’t tried before so I feel good for doing something differently. At the very least I will be happy :). I reread my original post and while there were a lot of good things that I tried to do (dates, surprises, thoughtful moments etc.) there was always a heaviness hanging over the house and a sad expectation from me that things would get better soon. This was emotionally draining on everyone in the house and was a vicious cycle. Maybe me getting help will change things, maybe not. But I have to try or I will regret it for the rest of my life.