Dearest X,

First of all I want to say that I completely understand where you’re coming from and I too have made the same mistakes. I’m going to tell you something that might be hard to take, but hear me out. From everything you’ve described I can tell you exactly where it all went wrong. When you got jealous of the other girls instead of trusting him. You were insecure and started nagging him about them. Men hate that. So what if they were texting him, he was WITH you. Just ask him politely to pay attention to you, or even better start showing some skin, and he’ll drop the phone fast. It might have been his first relationship, but he was honest from the start and while you were too, what you taught him was that women are ultimately insecure. I’m going to tell you a secret about men and how to deal with them. You can choose to take my advice or not, but trust me, this works. There are just a few things you need to know first.

All men are selfish, and so are women. It’s human nature. It’s also the male nature to pursue. Now you need to ask yourself if you really want him back. Then you need to come to terms with the fact that it could really be over, even if it hasn’t’ been said yet. That isn’t easy to do, because you keep thinking about him and all the good times you had together. You NEED to do this and be OKAY before you can do what you need to do next. You need to disappear.

Here is the secret. You need to STOP TEXTING OR CALLING HIM!! Wait. Wait. Wait some more. If he truly has feelings for you, he WILL eventually text or call you. It may take a few days, it may take a couple of weeks but you MUST BE STRONG my dear. If he doesn’t, then it truly is over, but if he does, then you have a chance. Don’t let him know you are excited to hear from him. Tell him you’ve been busy and had hardly noticed you hadn’t heard from him. Make HIM jealous. He’ll start wondering what you’ve been up to. It will drive him crazy. If he asks to see you, say you’d love to but then be busy. Don’t blow him off, just have something else going on when he wants to come over. (Don’t tell him you’re just washing your hair and painting your nails – it’s not his business WHAT you’re doing, just that you’re busy) Make him sweat. He will imagine all sorts of things. So what, that’s not your problem. Remember all the reasons you got mad at him.

Don’t make him sweat it out too long though, give him options. Yes, you’re busy Friday night, but you could meet for coffee on Sunday (or something like that). Then be the sweet, loving, funny person he fell for and completely forget about talking about any of the things your argued about. Don’t bring up the past. Leave it. He’s not with those girls, he’s with you. But you’re a busy woman now that you’re not in school. So don’t stay longer then an hour. Have somewhere to be. TRUST ME! He will realize you’re not sitting on the shelf where he left you waiting for him to get back to you. And don’t be. You’re a young, beautiful, vibrant, intelligent woman who can have any man she wants. (Tell yourself this. Say it again. Again!) Because you believe it, so will he and he’ll want that woman back. He won’t want some other man getting the awesome woman that is you!

What will you get out of this? You’ll either get him back or you won’t, but ultimately you’ll feel better about YOU. And truly, that is the only way you will be happy.

Blessings & Love
Jessi