Thank you, Anita. Yes, maybe I use too many words above. My problem is I do believe he loves me – deeply so- and I can’t accept that he is telling himself and me that he does not. I want to tell him he is so wrong and to see what’s right in front of him, but I realize he has to see these things himself and it is not my place to tell him he is mistaken .

I agree there must be some story in his life that makes this all makes sense. I did ask, and he shared that his parents divorced when he was 10, that his mother was over accommodating and overbearing while his father is a self focused man . I know his family is important to him, but I did see a red flag and the fact that he says he doesn’t have many memories at all of his childhood… Something I have encountered before and friends who’ve been through trauma . He never shared anything about a traumatic experience, and none of the stories of former relationships helped me understand where this emptiness comes from. But I thank you for your words, I wish he could overcome his numbness because the range of real emotions is so profoundly beautiful and I want those for him even if he ultimately isn’t sure he wants them with me .

• This reply was modified 8 years ago by JuliaM.