James,
I’m so glad we have been able to help you through this. Ninja has some great points, and I whole hardheartedly agree with what Anita said in her last post. The sparkly romantic love is really fleeting – Hollywood and the world makes it seem like that is real love, but its not. Real love is much less glamorous but all the more special. It’s what truly connects us to each other. Romantic love entices and attracts but unless there is truly something lasting to further connect you it will not, it cannot last.

Instead of worrying about the romantic spark try doing something a little different every now and then like sending her a naughty text out of the blue. Even when my ex and I were fighting if he sent me a flirty text or said something way off the wall, like “I can’t get over how amazing your ass looks in that dress” it would bring me out of myself and I would laugh. I don’t know how your wife is, some women get even angrier with stuff like that, but for me it gave me security that even though we might be fighting he still loved me. And gave me that little tingle of, ‘ he still thinks I’m hot, after all this time’. It also made me less angry. You’ve got to laugh with each other and remember how to flirt! Googly eyes over dinner above the kids heads, make her laugh. Gets me every time, she can’t be all that different. And laughing with her will ultimately make you feel better about yourself too.

And Ninja, since I know you’re reading this too, take the above advice. Laugh with her, if you’re not already doing this. Just keep trying it. She’s going to find you crazy and silly and wonder if you’re insane, but think about this guys, what if there was another man trying to get her attention. What would he do? Do it first. Do it better. You have the advantage of the home court. Use it. She doesn’t want the other team to win, not really, she wants you. She chose you. Think about the crazy stuff you did to get her attention when you were dating. It makes her feel sexy and wanted and laughter really is the best medicine. I hope this helps and makes sense.

Have fun flirting with your wives!
Jessi