I am going to keep this as short as I can cause I am in the same situation as you. But unlike you, my situation did escalate after 25 years of intense abuse. I almost got beaten into the hospital and am now (on top of all my other mental problems) also suffering from post traumatic stress disorder.

I will now answer your question “When is this nightmare going to end?”. The only answer I have for you is: get out. Grab all your things, don’t tell her where you are going, and leave. Cut all your ties with her. Don’t let anyone know where you are going and just go as far away as possible.

If you want to know what happens when you don’t do this look up “narcissistic personality disorder”. There are a million stories out there on the internet about people stuck in relationships like yours. Narcissists are mentally ill and won’t ever recover. They are emotional vampires. You think that things are alright for a while but then everything will go back to how it was before. Do not fall for this, please. I know how difficult it is and you keep telling yourself things will change but I am here to tell you that your brain is lying to you. Nothing is going to get better around her.

You need to leave.

I would love to go into more detail but I don’t want to waste your time as my only response is: LEAVE. Just leave. Please. You owe it to yourself to leave. Do not listen to the people who say you have to talk to her or that you have to work on yourself and godknowswhat. No. Her brain is sick. She is not capable of love. Again, look up “narcissistic personality disorder” and you will understand.

If you want someone to talk to: blinding–@outlook.com

I wish you the best of luck.