I like your advice anita about not waiting to be picked, but picking actively by your own choice and not societal standards. when you mentioned the family tree and picking the apples of the values that mattered and then leaving the rest of the tree behind, that made me smile. i now have a vision of an apple tree and me picking the values that suit me and not the ones that society values. i will not be like one of the apples on the tree waiting to be picked by others and subject to societal standards, but i’ll be the light that shines upon the tree instead. i agree that true strength isn’t about looks or waiting to be picked, but having the courage to go out there and pick on your own. there is a quote i found on tinybuddha a while ago that says “be strong enough to stand alone, be smart enough to know when you need help and be brave enough to ask for it.” i think it takes courage to be your own person when society tries to push you in different directions, so you must be strong enough to stand alone when you need to, smart enough not to seek help if you feel you are falling into your inner bully and brave enough to speak out what you feel.