Wow Peter,

I really really appreciate your comments. It seems like it’s more of a way of living, almost a philosophy on how to live your life. Yes, I do doubt my life and live in fear. I’ve quit sooo many jobs, that I feel it’s hopeless. I am living in a guest house on my mothers property and she drives me crazy with her yelling, anger, anxiousness. I need to move out, but I don’t have any money and why get a job that I’m just going to quit. I have been in real estate for years and don’t know how it will translate into another line of work. My Lifestyle Curating isn’t giving me enough money, plus the instability is hard to count on anything stable. I got into a huge blow out with my mom on Wednesday and I told her I have enough with her. I really let her have it in a constructive way. This morning she said that my tone was bad on the phone. I told her I didn’t forget the fight and I am totally over her and her behavior. She thinks that once again we have a fight and everything will be fine. I am completely over it. She thinks she can buy her way into my heart, but that’s not the case anymore. I do feel bad, but it’s for my own good and sanity. I am stuck wearing golden handcuffs. I know that I should be appreciative, but it’s not worth it anymore. All of my friends are married and I don’t have a place to go. I’ve thought about living in the streets for a while, but I’m not sure if that’s the answer. I almost want to do it to show my mother how much she has hurt me through my life. Yes, it will make it very hard to get a job living on the streets, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m sick of hating jobs, so I have lost faith in myself. I’m college educated and my father and stepmother thought I was the one child (there are three sisters and me) that was going to excel over all the children. If anything, I have been the worst with the deepest problems. I feel like I’ve let everyone down, especially myself. I know that as long as I am here in my mothers guest house, I will be miserable. I have lived elsewhere and it was nice, but I wasn’t healing. I really need help, and all of the meeting I’ve seeked out, cost like 50-60 dollars. It be honest, this board is my only life line to people understanding me and being compassionate to my issues.

I heard from mother today and it get me very angry and sad. No job, no money, and feeling like crap. I’m doing my best to keep my distance.
I’m really don’t know what to do from this point on.

Thank you peter for your kind words!!