Dear Shirley:

You are welcome. Hope you do well on the midterm tomorrow.

1. “How do I politely decline from partaking or getting involved in any negative conflict…But there are some people who have sorrows when I’m trying to focus on my goals and they want me to listen. How do I tell them to be more mindful??

Look in his or her eyes, and at the first moment he or she takes a breath, a small break from the sharing, with a little, empathetic smile, say: It sounds tough. Being mindful helps me in such tough situations. Maybe you can google Mindfulness online- there is a lot of information on it. Have to go now. I hope you will let me know later how Mindfulness works for you. Bye for now”- and leave.

2. “How do I get a shy guy to come out of his shell?” Because you are similar to this guy in class and can relate to him, you can show him by example how to ask a question from the teacher without appearing dumb (appearing so to people who mistaken asking questions to being dumb)- ask the teacher a question in a confident tone, not in a shaky, insecure voice. Make your voice strong and ask. Then find a moment to share with the shy guy that you too are afraid to ask questions and that you practice asking anyway and intend to continue to do.

anita