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Hi BusyBee,
Firstly I am very happy for you for making the conscious decision and removing yourself from the abusive relationship. I’m sure that you are now a much stronger person!
From what you have said it seems like this is life throwing you the final hurdle to healing and overcoming your previous suffering. It may be difficult but I think it may be beneficial to go to the party, especially after working through your past experiences. You have the chance to face your demon’s on a level where they can’t harm you and have no power over you.
I say go for it, you may feel relieved that you did. Don’t give him the power by avoiding the party, go to the party and prove to yourself that he no longer has any power in your life what so ever. Also I recommend speaking to your friends and letting them know how you feel just so that they understand and can come to your aid if you start to feel a bit overwhelmed or uncomfortable.
In the end I don’t understand what you have been through and this is only my very limited opinion but I know from my own suffering that the only way to beat the suffering is to face it, the world often throw’s hurdles at us for this reason.
All the best & Good luck!
Andrew.