Anita –

I am not sure how all this online stuff works, but I get the feeling that I’m blowing up this thread on a conversation between just the two of us. I’m happy if you want to continue to talk in this manner, but I did set up a temporary email account if you wanted to exchange legitimate information there…ie. my real email, cell #, blood type. It’s needsomehelp45@gmail.com. Hopefully, I remember the password 🙂 If that does not make you comfortable, I understand.

I have made contact with someone in NYC to help wake up early in the morning to meditate, run and pray before each day, and even though I’ve never met the individual, his commitment to me and some inspiring stories he has shared have really started to change certain aspects of my life. We text each other every morning. We met through a website called “partners in grind” which is now defucnt…but it’s still great to be in touch with him. Has pulled me through some very difficult moments in my life…and it was nice to hear that I have inspried him as well!

Being brought up as a Christian, the saying “what you do to the least of mine you do unto Me.” has great meaning for me. although, I have yet to put it into action. So, I need help with that. I completely agree, that there is little that one person can do for another and vice versa…but maybe the collective help from many people could change a person…?

Another thought I have been considering…because life is generally hectic, I feel the need to stop being afraid of being alone, and actually embrace it as an opportunity to improve myself. That is, fix up the house, learn a new skill, read a book, contribute time to a good cause. So, instead of looking at my calendar, seeing that Friday night is open, fearing it all week. I could change my perspective and say…well, I think I will use that time to work on the financials of the not for profit that I have been putting off for so long! Sure, it’s not hanging out with friends at a club, that we have all been so trained to believe is a normal activity…but when I do not have custody of the kids…alone time can sometimes be limiting, and I really think I need to embrace rather than fear the alone time. Kind of like last night. Am I blowing it out of proportion? It was one night I skied alone…there will be other nights that I will join with the family that invited me, and I will be on the other side of the fence…with maybe someone else who is skiing alone…looking at me, thinking that I have friends and my life together.

When you wrote that you need others to love you in order to love yourself…that was quite contrary to what everyone else has been telling me. Everyone has stated, love yourself first, then others will love you…so I struggle a little on this point.

I am certainly a very emotional person for being a accountant…and certainly need to improve my emtional IQ. I have to say, that although I have been selfishly fixating on my own concerns…I’m incredibly happy to hear that it helps you in your own way…

On a side note…I’ve traveled to Vancouver (spectacular), Seattle (love it…but agree that I am not the city type, so the visit was much better), Portland, the Bay area cities, Monteray, Hollywood, LA, and San Diego. I just love that part of the country…each so unique in their own way! I’d much rather have the rain than the snow!