It’s interesting to read this from a male perspective. I’ve been in a couple FWB-type relationships and I’ve always thought guys didn’t really think about feeling like they were being “used”, or like they’re waisting their time (that’s what I get from your post, might be way off, though)because hey, it’s (supposed to be) uncomplicated sex. I’ve always thought that if a guy is willing to be in a FWB relationship it’s because he’s not looking for his emotional needs to be met in that particular relationship. But clearly you were unhappy with this arrangement. I get she had her own bagagge and doesn’t sound like she was at a good place to be in a comitted relationship. It makes me wonder…why did you stay for as long a you did?

I’m asking this because I’m genuinely curious. As I said, I’ve been in FWB relationships, they don’t always start explicitly as such, but seem to end up being only that, and it makes me wonder if I’m contributing to that in some way. I mean, I’m not really good at communication, and after many bad experiences I tend to show myself as unattached and somewhat uninterested, like I don’t care one way or another if a relationship turns into something more serious or not. Of course, I do care. And from introspection I’ve reached the conclusion I’m very ambivalent about emotionally intimate relationships…Anyway, I guess I see some of myself (a tiny, tiny, tiny bit) in Anna’s behaviour? Maybe I’m just proyecting. I’m wondering, if this girl had been more in touch with you, or shown more interest …would it have changed anything for you? You said you never fell for her, or connected emotionally, was it mainly that?

Anyway, I’m happy for you, for saying no to your FWB, sounds like the relationship was getting get toxic.